diatu | I wanna know What you're feeling

I wanna know What you're feeling

Who: Lea and Xion, eventually joined by Roxas and possibly Isa
Where: The Ka dorm
When: Backdated to shortly after the end of the body-swap event
What: In which some things come out and progress is hopefully made
Warnings: Angst and feels

Of all the reasons Lea was glad to be back in his own body, the one he currently held in his hand was a relatively minor one, but one that he was sure would prove useful nonetheless. The object in question was a glass bottle containing about six ounces of pale blue translucent liquid and stoppered with a cork. It was a potion he'd purchased off of a fellow student for use in his Forging; it was supposed to help remove impurities from metals and reveal flaws in various types of stones.

While he was stuck in Isa's body and the student he'd been purchasing it from had been stuck in the body of his toad familiar they understandably hadn't been able to make the exchange. But now the potion sat on top of a couple books on his bedside table, and he was eager to go try it out. Just as soon as he'd fed Smoke, his rat.

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No, actually, Lea didn't know that. Xion was clearly acting unlike her usual self, and so far as he could see, it had started when the potion had splashed on her. But as his mind began find its way out of low-key panic-mode, he began to realize that the things she was saying were too specific to be outright caused by the potion. It was more like, the potion was just drawing things out into the open, like it was meant to draw out impurities in metals or bring to light flaws in gems.

But it was Xion's tears that really drew his focus. No time to panic now. Xion needed him. He reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder too, next to Roxas'. "Hey, it's OK," he said, his tone soothing. "Just try and calm down, take a deep breath, OK?"

"I don't think people can really change houses," he said trying to continue to sound comforting even though he was delivering news that Xion didn't want to hear. "But there's nothing stopping us from visiting him, or vice versa. And anyway, Roxas is right. The link between the two of you was broken when you returned Sora's memories. Nothing bad's gonna happen to him when you use your Keyblade or magic, alright?

He then turned to Roxas and explained. "I got a potion to use in my Forging projects and it got spilled on Xion," he said. "Don't know what all was in it, just that it wasn't meant to be used on people, so it's having some unforeseen effects. But I don't think it's actually causing this, just bringing out what was already there."

"We don't know that he'll be okay! We don't know that I won't hurt him!" she cried, both in sound as in tears. "But you can ask! Authority figures listen to you, Axel! You can fix this! You can fix anything! You know you can! We need to keep Roxas safe now that he's here! We have to keep both of you safe!"

Roxas winced as Xion cried out, the fear and sorrow he felt for her evident on his face. "Then, these are feelings she's been feeling all this time..?" If that potion brought out thoughts that were already there, then that meant these were feelings that Xion herself already felt. And if that was the case, he didn't know how to assuage those fears.

"But you won't hurt me. The connection that made you hurt me is gone, so you have nothing to worry about. I know that, for a fact. You can't hurt me, Xion. You'll only be hurting yourself."

"I think so, yeah," Lea said to Roxas. It was really too specific to be otherwise.

But he quickly refocused his attention on Xion, giving her a look somewhere between puzzled and slightly annoyed though he kept his tone calm. "Xion, I don't know where you'd get the idea that anyone in authority around here would listen to me," he said. "And I can't fix everything. In fact, I can't fix most things. You really..." He sighed. "You can't keep putting me on a pedestal like you do. Because trust me, that's the last place I belong."

"And speaking of trust, you could try trusting your friends a bit," he said. "I've told you and Roxas has told you that the connection that caused the energy draining problem with the two of you is gone. Why do you keep insist on believing otherwise? I mean if anyone would know, it'd be Roxas, since he's the furthest along of any of us, time-wise, so you could try taking his word for it."

"BECAUSE he's the furthest along! What if being with me when I'm so far behind reconnects that? We know things from his time and my time and your time, but we don't know how any of that melds HERE!" she cried, and yes, she did raise her voice during that again. But that was partially so she could be heard through the hands now over her face.

What was wrong with her? "I'm hurting you both right now and I can't seem to shut up and stop!" she wailed.

"But you're not. The only reason you're hurting us is because you keep thinking this way. You're hurting us because you're hurting yourself."

Roxas didn't know how else to explain it. He thought him explaining what had happened was clear enough...

An idea strikes him, and he lowers his hand before stepping back. "You want to know why I know, for a fact, that connection isn't be there anymore? Because of this."

And in the space he's created, he summons his Keyblades; his true Keyblades, Oathkeeper and Oblivion, which he regained after doing that ridiculous research project that left him jumpy and on edge for days.

"Do you feel anything, with these out like this?" One Keyblade was enough to cause a drain between them, but two would certainly be felt, if there was anything at all to feel between them.

Lea narrowly resisted facepalming. "Xion, think for a second," he said. "Do you actually have any evidence that that is even a possibility? Or are you just coming up with stuff to be afraid of to make yourself feel miserable?"

"Because Roxas is right. It's not you telling us stuff or your doing magic or anything that's hurting us. It's bottling all this crap up and making yourself hurt more than you need to. We're your friends, and if something is bothering you, we want you to tell us. So we can try to work it out. Yeah, it might not be fun in the short term, but it's better than waiting til it all explodes like this."

And the Keyblade thing was a good idea, so Lea stood back slightly too, giving Roxas more room. He looked to Xion expectantly for her answer, which he was almost certain would be 'no'.

She had winced when Roxas agreed that she was hurting them. But when he says "this" and then she hears a sound so familiar that it resonates within her she peeked out through her gloves, and then just... stared. Her hands fell away and the shock and confusion were clear on her face. Those.... those were Keyblades, right? Weren't they? Something in her screamed that they were but they didn't look like Keyblades. And two? Why two?

A gloved hand started to reach for one of the keyblades, then she jerked it back. She wasn't even aware that she was mumbling her confused thoughts as she did, that she was still talking. She was sure she was being silent and it was her brain racing a mile a minute in confusion. but mostly there were a lot of broken confused sentences half escaping her mouth.

Her confusion was to be expected, though he does offer her a smile as he hears those half-formed sentences.

"These are my Keyblades. This one is Oathkeeper." He raised the lighter Keyblade, the light glinting off the snowflake-like teeth and delicate filigree designs. "And this one is Oblivion." He then raised the dark Keyblade, its thick ebony steel and embedded chain reflecting the Keyblade's strength. The two Keyblades were complete opposites in design, yet strangely complimentary.

"This is my power. My full power." That sentence might be a bit inaccurate, given there are still abilities he couldn't do yet (and he'd been practicing in his spare time), but the fact that he could summon these two Keyblades meant he was closer to his usual strength than when he only wielded one.

"And I bet you aren't feeling any weaker or strange dips in your energy right now, are you? You still feel the same way you did before I summoned these, don't you? That's because the connection that was affecting us isn't there anymore. I'm not going to make you weaker, and you're not going to make me weaker."

Well that was a... slight improvement over all the crying? Maybe? Roxas seemed to be encouraged be the shocked expression and quiet muttering anyway, so Lea decided to take it as an encouraging sign too.

"Listen to Roxas, Xion," Lea said. "Cause when it comes to Keyblades- and in particular your and his Keyblades-, he knows way more than I do. And if you need any more proof that the connection is gone for good? You can try summoning yours too. If that doesn't cause a reaction, then nothing will."

"But it didn't always happen at once," she muttered weakly, like even she could tell it was weak. She sat down on the edge of the bed, holding her arms. "I just need to know the two of you are okay, you are all I have, all I want to have and I know I can't really..." she faltered, trying to find words. "Everytime something good happens, something worse happens as a response," she whispered finally. "The three of us being here... I keep being afraid of what could be so much worse to follow something this good..." her eyes closed. So many things she wouldn't have said normally, that she wasn't sure why she seemed to be saying every thought she normally would have locked down deep. "I don't know why I keep saying everything. I know hearing this hurts you and I don't ever want to hurt either of you. My whole existence, such as it is, you two always protected me, I just want to be able to protect you back. To keep whatever bad is coming from taking away what little good we have."

Roxas listened to her carefully, and could sympathize with her worries. He knows many of her fears are assuaged back home, but just because he knows it, doesn't mean she does. He lowered his Keyblades sticking them into the ground so he could lean on them, looking at Xion.

"Then, if something happens, we'll tell each other right away." He offered. "I know that in the past bad things kept happening, but that doesn't mean it has to happen in the future. And I know full well that you've got the power inside to help us if we need your help." He fought alongside her in the Keyblade Graveyard, and saw her strength for what it was. Xion was a force to be reckoned with, even if she didn't realize it.

"We can't let fear stop us. If we do, then we'll miss out on all the good times." He looked at Lea for confirmation.

"We can promise to not keep any more bad secrets from each other. We can all keep an eye on each other and make sure none of us are hurting. Because friends are honest with each other... right?"

Lea nodded when Roxas looked to him, adding his confirmation and even smiling slightly. "I can't promise that nothing bad's ever going to happen to any of us again," he said. "No one can promise that, really. But Roxas is right; you can't spend your whole life living in terror of every single bad thing that could possibly happen down the road. All that focusing on potential future bad stuff does is make you miserable and keep you from enjoying any good stuff that might be happening right now."

"And if anything does happen, between the three of us? We've got this. I mean come on, we're three awesome, Keyblading best friends. Three and a half, maybe, if you count Roxas' second Keyblade as a bonus. As long as we trust each other, and tell each other when we need help, there's not much that we can't handle. Got it memorized?"

She gave them a small tentative weak smile. "I want to believe that," she whispered. "So much." She looked to Roxas. "But how do we keep an eye on each other if you're sleeping somewhere else? Why can't we be together so we can protect each other?"

Roxas chuckled at Lea, nodding to him. "Yeah. Axel's right; between the three of us, we can handle anything." And he did believe that. They were all capable Keyblade wielders; they could handle any trouble that came their way.

Xion's words made him pause, thinking for a moment. "Well... if I can't come stay in your dorms, could we get some way for us to stay in contact? Like the gummiphones?"

Lea considered a moment. "I might be able to come up with something in Forging," he said. "It'd take a while, and the end result wouldn't be anything nearly as complicated as a gummiphone, but I should be able to make something that'd be good in emergencies at least."

"And in the mean time, we can check up with each other during the day sometimes like at meals, instead of just at sunset for ice cream," he said. "And besides, we're already connected no matter where we go because we're all best friends. That's worth a lot more than we tend to give it credit for."

"...What.. is a gummiphone...?" she asked, looking at them, so confused. Then she blinked. "Would that mean I'd actually have to go to the school more often?" Someone... may have been cutting even more than Axel was aware of.

"Oh, here. It's this thing." Roxas reached into his pocket and pulled out his gummiphone, pressing the button to turn it on before handing it to Xion. "Jiminy gave each of us one after the battle in the Keyblade Graveyard. It lets us keep in contact with each other even if we're on different worlds. But I haven't been able to contact anyone outside of this world since coming here."

He turned to Lea and nodded to him. "That's a good idea. I'd be up to spending more time with you guys in between classes." They made it to sunset ice cream fairly often, but sometimes they would go an entire day without seeing each other. Meeting up for meals or in between classes would be nice. "You think you could forge something for us?"

"Yes, it would," Lea said to Xion. "If I can drag my butt to class most of the time, you can too. Besides, occasionally the stuff you learn in some of them does come in handy, and it'd be nice to have someone there to help me not doze off in 'Law' and 'History of Wizardry'." Since he and Xion were both in Ka, they both had to take those classes.

Lea looked at gummiphone with interest as Roxas took it out to show Xion. He'd heard them mentioned at his point in the timeline, but this was his first time seeing one. "Probably?", he told Roxas. "Though like I said it wouldn't be anywhere near as sophisticated as a gummiphone; no way do I have the technical know-how to pull that off, especially around here."

"Though now that I know you have your gummiphone with you, did you check and see if the other functions still worked, like the camera?", he said. "I don't honestly expect that we'll be able to connect it to anything here, but we might still be able to do stuff with it."

While she was more than okay with the thought if seeing them more often during the day, if she was going to classes, when would she do her eagull missions to earn ice cream money? She'd have to figure it out, if they really wanted her there.

She turned the odd device over in her gloved hands, curious. "What about people inside this world?" she asked, looking up at Roxas.

"I think it can, but it hasn't registered any other gummiphones in the area." Meaning that even if it could call someone inside this world, there was no one to call, according to the gummiphone.

"I think that's okay. As long as we're able to get in touch with one another, that's probably good enough." And he trusts that Lea can manage something like that. He hasn't seen the redhead forge anything yet, but he has faith in his best friend.

"Let's see..." While Xion held the gummiphone, Roxas leaned over and flicked through a couple settings... and frown a bit as he did.

"Jiminy's logs aren't available either... and the camera's working, but none of the pictures I took are here." Strange.

"Whose logs?", Lea asked. He couldn't recall meeting or even hearing about anyone named Jiminy before.

"And it's too bad we don't get to see any pictures from the future," he said. "But as long as the camera's working, why don't we start taking some new ones? Starting with a group selfie; we've never had a picture of the three of us together, and it's about time. Though you'll probably wanna take your hood off for that, Xion."

As they were discussing the Gummiphone, there's a knock on the door, followed by the concerned voice of Isa.

"Lea, are you in there? Is everything alright?"

Xion had been about to open her mouth about the hood when she jumped a mile hearing the voice that went with the knock. She tried to keep her mouth shut, she really did. But for some reason everything was just spilling out today. "No, I don't want, I can't..." she fought herself trying to keep the words behind closed lips. She even went so far as to put her hands over her mouth, which only muffled her words, rather then stopping them.

Edited 2019-08-19 03:09 (UTC)

"Jiminy Cricket. He's responsible for keeping track of Sora's journey."

At the mention of a photo, Roxas brightened. "Hey, that's a great idea!" It would be nice to get a photo of all of them while they were here, especially now that his old photos were gone. But just as the idea was offered, the knock sounded at the door, and Roxas looked up.

"Saix..?" He only had a moment to inquire about the person at the door before he was drawn back to Xion. He could see her struggling to not say the words that were tumbling from her mouth, and he rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Xion, it's okay. He... Isa's not going to do anything, I promise."

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