diatu | The icing on the cake

The icing on the cake - Locked to Lea

Xion had spent much of the last month trying to avoid people - and failing miserably - and trying to find a perfect sunset watching spot. Until she could figure out the spell to take away everyone's memories so that she could end herself, as she knew she had to, she had to stay away from people.

But she was still Xion. And still drawn to the same things she always had been. A good ledge from which to watch the sunset, ice cream, and seashells.

Finally, at the start of the month she had found the perfect place. She didn't know how she had missed it, given it was a giant clock tower. But she found it, and for once luck was with her. No one else had been there.

Every day since she'd been buying three ice creams and heading to the top of the tower to watch the sunset. Every day.

Which was where she would be, just before sunset, a small touch of black, a familiar black coat, sitting on the ledge of a clocktower, watching the sky.....

Maybe not something most people would notice. But then most people weren't used to thinking of clock towers that way. Also, Lea really is freakishly tall....

Her hood is still up, so even he couldn't tell who it was, but really...who could he remember that sat with him, eating ice cream at the end of the day?

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Xion looked to the three ice creams she held. It was a good thing it was so cold out or they'd have melted already. Still...

She set them down beside herself and leaned back. Her mind was still spinning over everything in the past month, and all the people she had to find a way to make forget her, when she heard someone coming up the stairs.

What.... what was she going to do? She had finally found a place that was right, after all this searching. She didn't want to just leave like she had with the other roof tops...

She gathered the ice creams and stood, trying to find a shadow to press herself back into, but with the full force of the sunset, there wasn't much.

Who was it coming? If it was Webby, she wasn't sure how she'd ever get rid of the other girl. But for all that, still better Webby than someone like Atem who might try and keep her from coming back here for reasons of his own.

She dropped into a crouch, holding the ice creams. If need be, she could at least throw them at whoever was coming and try and make a break for it. Maybe there was a rooftop on the other side close enough for a jump....

As the footsteps got closer it would be clear that they belonged to someone significantly heavier than Webby, and by the sound of them, someone who was wearing boots, so it wasn't who Xion might have been expecting. But it wasn't until that someone made it to the top of the stairs and emerged out onto the ledge that both of them would get a real surprise.

Lea stepped out onto the ledge and saw that he hadn't been imagining the figure. And more than that, said figure was both wearing a very familiar coat and holding three ice cream bars. He couldn't believe it. Could it really be...? "Roxas?", he blurted out in surprise.

But no. Another moment of looking at the person in the black coat, and he realized that his initial assumption was wrong. The silhouette was wrong; this person was a good bit slighter than Roxas, and from what he could see, wore their coat a bit differently. But if not Roxas, then who? No one else in the Organization had been that small. And why, if it wasn't Roxas, did the person feel so familiar? "No, not Roxas...", he said, trailing off slightly as he observed the figure. "Who are you?"

Edited 2019-03-07 03:28 (UTC)

She almost dropped the ice creams when she saw him. His face was a little different in a way she couldn't quite place just then but Axel. It was Axel. Here. Somehow...

And then he called her Roxas.

Pain. As if a Heartless had tackled her. No, worse. She wasn't Roxas. No matter what Saïx and Xemnas had wanted, she refused to replace Roxas, and she refused to drain his powers anymore. Her hands tightened around the ice cream bars, pain filling her being.

It was good that he didn't remember her, that the spell had worked. She knew that. And she couldn't let him just drag her home. She had to do this. For his sake. For Roxas. For everyone. She knew what she had to do. And she'd finally been brave enough to do it.

But now she wasn't brave enough to even run. Largely because there was as much in her yelling at her to run forward, as to run back.

Finally she shook her head, small frame shaking. "Not Roxas," she whispered. "Please... just go. Forget you saw me. I... I won't come back," she said quietly. "You can have this spot. I'll.... I'll leave you alone."

Why? Why did this hurt so much?

The person- no, the girl; quiet as that voice had been, it was definitely female- seemed just as startled as he was, so it was obvious that they recognized him. And that voice tugged at the sense of familiarity even more.

But why was she shaking like that? It didn't seem to be from the cold, despite the surrounding temperature and the ice cream. Fear maybe? Did she think he was here to eliminate her? "Hey, it's OK," he said. "You don't have to leave. I'm not gonna hurt you or anything; I'm done doing those kind of icky jobs."

"Besides, you just... you feel really familiar," he said cautiously approaching a bit closer. He didn't want to startle her into bolting, but he had a feeling that if he could just get a good look at the face under that hood, everything would make sense. "I know you're not Roxas, but he and I, we used to do this whenever we could. Sit up on the Twilight Town clock tower after work, have ice cream and watch the sunset. It can't be a coincidence, especially not when you've got three ice creams. Please, just... I need to know who you are."

She stepped back as he stepped forward. "N...No, Axel. You forgot me for a reason. It... It has to be this way. Please..." She looked away. "Please just... just go on forgetting me. It's the only way to save Roxas."

She couldn't let Roxas continue to suffer because of her, she couldn't. And if Axel remembered her and had to forget again, it would hurt him too. And...

And she wasn't certain she was brave enough to do this again if he remembered.

No. She knew.... she knew she wasn't.

Lea just looked confused at that. "How is me not remembering you necessary for that?", he said. "Ienzo's already working on a safe way of separating Roxas from Sora back at Radiant Garden; I might not have all the latest updates on how it's going, but I'm pretty sure Merlin would've told me if there was anything important I needed to do for it to work."

In fact, he'd specifically asked Merlin to let him know if there was anything he could do to help on that front before he'd sent him and Kairi to the 'temporally flexible' forest for training, and Merlin had assured him there wasn't. And he didn't think the Merlin would lie about that or deliberately keep things from him, even out of a desire to not interrupt his training.

"Separating Roxas from Sora?" Okay, now she was confused.

"But... We were both split off from Sora... that... that was the whole problem... If we don't go back... if... if people remember me... Sora... can never wake up..."

Right?

Was Axel lying to her to bring her back? No... he didn't know who she was. If he didn't remember her, if he didn't see her as a friend...he'd have no reason to lie...

She stumbled a bit, head hurting. None of this made sense...

Now Lea was even more confused. "Both of you were?" What. No, seriously, WHAT. "Roxas did go back to Sora; I tried to stop him, but I wasn't able to. And Sora's been awake for months now. He's currently off on another quest, trying to get back-"

But then the girl stumbled a bit. Lea moved almost before he realized what he was doing, closing the distance between them and catching a hold of her shoulder to steady her. "Whoah, careful there," he said. "This really isn't a place you want to lose your footing."

She looked up at him, startled. And not just because he might remember when she had almost fallen off the clock tower before.

"Months? I haven't been here months, Axel... and... and I saw Roxas... just before I arrived." You too, just before that.

She shook her head and looked down. "Something... something doesn't make sense. And I don't think you're lying to me this time... So....?"

Except that she had no way to end that sentence. This... this really just didn't make sense. At all.

She looked up at him again. Axel always had the answers and the bright ideas. She might not have always liked what he had to say, and she knew that he lied sometimes, but he should still know what was going on... shouldn't he....?

The almost falling thing did kick the sense of familiarity up another notch. It was so close now, he could almost...

"I'm not lying," he assured her. "But you're right about it not making sense. The only thing I can think of, is that the magic that they used to bring both of us here must be able to bring people from different times as well as places. That's the only way you can have just been with Roxas before being pulled here."

"But what did you mean about both of you being split off from Sora?", he said. "Who are you? I know I know you. It's right there; I can almost remember... Please, just tell me. Or let me see your face. Please?"

"If I take off my hood... you might not see me," she said softly. Roxas...had seen Sora. Yes, he saw her again at the end, at least... she thought he did... but if Axel saw Sora's face instead of hers, or worse... nothing... She wasn't sure she could stand it.

"But... how could we be from different times?"

Though she was willing to at least consider the possibility. "We've gone on a lot of missions to other worlds, a day there always ended at the same time for each of us, that's why we could always..."

She stopped herself there, wincing at what she had almost said.

But if they were... if... if he was further ahead and she had succeeded then.... then she was done, right? If Sora was really awake.... then.... was it okay for her... to be here?

His first impulse was to ask how he could possibly not see her when she was standing right there? But he had a feeling that wasn't what she meant.

"I don't know how it all works," he said. "That kind of magic's way beyond me. But I know it can happen. Xehanort did it; brought a dozen different versions of himself from different times all together in one place. Though I think whatever did it to us might work differently; everything else here does, apparently."

"But if you... you had ice cream with me and Roxas, we must've been friends, right?", Lea said, struggling to remember even as he completed the sentence the girl had left unfinished, easily catching the implication. "That's why you're up here. That's why the three ice creams; because there were three of us. That's why Roxas said... but I thought that was a dream? He said 'You made us a promise. That you'd always be there... to bring us back.' 'Us'. Not 'me'. He said 'us'. So there were three of us! Him, me, and... and..."

Abruptly the mental walls gave way. Lea winced, pressing a hand to his head as the memories returned in a jumbled rush. But when he opened his eyes again, there was clear recognition in them. As well as tears. "...Xion," he said.

It was hard, staying there as he worked through all of that. She wanted to help, she knew she probably should stop him, but if this thing about time was real... then...

Her scrambled jumbled thoughts screeched to a halt as he told her what Roxas had said. And then when he said her name, it was all she could do to keep her knees from going out.

Part of her was screaming to deny it, to hide, to make him forget because she had to, because Riku said it was the only way. But the other part of her, the larger part, wanted to believe that she had succeeded, that it was all over. That they were going to be able to bring Roxas back without harming Sora, without undoing everything.

Maybe that was why she was still here, clinging to this silver of an existence. To help Axel bring Roxas back.

She swallowed hard and nodded. She wanted to say something, but didn't know what. So, hand shaking, she lifted one of the ice creams towards him. It didn't seem to be enough, but she was utterly at a loss. Axel was the one there when she had headaches, when she didn't understand. She didn't know what to do on this side of it, didn't know how to be for Axel what he had always been for her and Roxas.

His face was wet. Her face was wet. Why... why were their faces wet? Did it mean something? If it was just her she would think it meant she was somehow broken again, but Axel was a regular Nobody, he didn't break down like she did....

Edited 2019-03-07 06:02 (UTC)

Lea was feeling pretty shaky on his feet himself, so he crouched down on one knee, putting himself much nearer Xion's level. "Xion...", he repeated. "Xion, it's... you're really..." Then she held out one of the ice creams to him and he couldn't help a brief burst of laughter, even as the tears finally spilled from his eyes. He accepted it, then abruptly pulled her into a hug.

"Xion... Man, I missed you," he said. "And I'm so sorry."

Yeah...she had no clue what to do with a hug. But she did lean awkwardly against him.

"How could you miss me if you didn't remember me?" she asked, a slight teasing note in her voice. Because that was what she knew, because that she could handle. Her, Axel, Roxas.. teasing each other after a hard day of work.

And... she wanted that back. Not so much the work, she would never help Xemnas again if she had any say over it. But... Ice cream with friends. That made sense.

Axel apologizing... made less sense.

Lea shook his head a bit. "I could still tell something was missing," he said. "That I'd forgotten something important. Kairi kept catching me staring at her, trying to remember... And I think I did, just for a second, when she was standing there against the sunset. She... asked me not to hold back in our training the next day, and suddenly..." He trailed off, not really sure how to describe what happened. "Suddenly... it hurt. I didn't know why at the time, but now that I remember..."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for dragging you back to the castle that last time. For hurting you, for lying, for... a lot of things. But mostly for being an idiot. And I should have been there for you and Roxas a lot sooner."

He pulled back a bit holding her more at arms length so he could look her in the eye. "But I'm gonna make it up to you," he said. "Both of you. And you can bet I've got that memorized."

"Kairi...." she whispered. The one Riku said she looked like. The one Sora remembered, leading to the memories that created her.

But from under her hood, she looked at Axel, confused by his apologies. "You were trying to help and protect us, Axel. You were always there for us. I know... I know sometimes Roxas didn't understand that, but I did. I... I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I just..."

She shook her head. "You were hurt because I was a coward, Axel, because... I didn't want to leave you and Roxas. There is nothing you have to make up to me. To us. You've always done everything you could for us. I know that."

Wow the hero worship runs deep in this one.

Too deep, really. Lea shook his head, then gently pushed her hood back. He wanted them both to see each other clearly for this. "No, Xion," he said. "You had every right to be mad at me. So did Roxas. I lied to you both and I screwed things up for you even worse than they were already because of it."

"It wasn't about protecting you two," he said. "Well, not all of it was, anyway. I just... wanted you guys to stay with me. Even when I knew, deep down, that the Organization wasn't where you belonged. If I'd really wanted to do what was best for you, I'd have told you both the truth, and taken you to try to find Sora as soon as I figured out what was going on. Maybe then Naminé could have... I dunno... done something, and the two of you would have been able to stay as yourselves."

"Not to mention, the last time I saw you, I practically gift-wrapped you for Xemnas, and gave him the chance to do who knows what to you," he said. "I wasn't hurt because of you. I was hurt because I was an idiot, and because I was too concerned about keeping things the way I wanted them to do what you guys really needed me to do. And I'm sorry."

She was terrified when he pushed back her hood, terrified of what he would... or would not see... but he kept talking, and she realized that he saw her... and more.. what he was saying....

"I wanted us to all stay together too, Axel," she said softly. "But Naminé was always going to have to destroy me to fix Sora... I think... that was why I kept fighting. If you could beat me, if you could take me back home.. thenI knew that was where I still belonged. It was only... only at the end that I realized how right Riku was, that I was being selfish."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't better at any of this Axel. But.... But if I succeeded, and Sora is awake... and you're here... we...we can go find Roxas... right? Maybe... have that day off at the beach?"

Yeah, she needed to get to lighter things also.

"The Organization isn't where any of us belonged," Lea said. "For a lot of reasons. Some of which are gonna require a lot of explaining. But we were all being used, and that's not a situation anyone should be forced to stay in."

"And we don't know the limits of what Naminé's powers were," he said. "If you'd gotten to her earlier..." He trailed off, realizing that that would just be arguing in circles. "Either way, I guess we'll never know. But it's not selfish, wanting to stay with your friends, even if it feels that way. And needing time to decide to do something like that doesn't make you a coward. Just being able to decide to do something like that is really brave; I'm not sure I'd have been able to, if it had been me."

He sighed and finally sat down fully on the cold stone ledge, the exhaustion of the day and the emotional revelations he'd just been through beginning to catch up with him again. "It's a little cold for a beach day right now around here, even if Roxas does turn up," he said. Privately, he very much hoped that he would, but hesitated to say so out loud, for fear of jinxing it. "Back home though? That's what I'm hoping. After all, if Ienzo and the others can find a way to get Roxas out of Sora safely, there's no reason they wouldn't be able to do the same for you too. And I did promise."

"Right now though? I'm beat," he said. "There's a ton of stuff we need to catch up on, and stuff I need to explain, and it's really an insane amount to get memorized, but that's likely gonna have to wait til tomorrow. Right now I just wanna eat this ice cream, then hopefully find my way back to the dorm and go to bed."

Which reminded him of something. "What dorm did they stick you in, by the way?", he asked. "I'm in Ka."

"If I wasn't being selfish, wanting to stay, then you weren't being selfish wanting to keep us with you," she said firmly. Axel was one of the only two people she could be at all firm or assertive with, because she knew they wouldn't smack her down for it. Though they might tease her some. But from them... that was fine.

She sat next to him, and shook her head. "I don't think I was brave... so much as desperate. They... they were going to kill either Roxas or I... weren't they?" she asked, softly. "Since we couldn't both work well at the same time." Her eyes closed as she looked at the two remaining ice creams that she held.

She did want to know who Ienzo was. She... wanted to know a lot of things, honestly. Like what was Roxas' somebody, Sora, like? Was he just like Roxas? If Kingdom Hearts was a lie... how could they get Axel's heart back for him? Could... could a fake like her every get a heart at all? A million questions were in her mind, though the space between them, Roxas' place in the middle, was cold and empty.

When he asked about the dorm, she opened her eyes. "I'm not sure." She'd been here a month and still had not checked out the dorms.

Xion shifted the ice creams to one hand and reached into a pocket to pull out the folded papers she had been given. She opened them carefully so that they would not blow away. "Ka," she said, holding them up so that he could see the words.

"Yeah, I know," Lea said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit sheepishly. "But the way I did it was still wrong. I should've told you guys the truth. Then we could've... I dunno, run away together, or something." He paused. "Even if it couldn't have changed what happened in the end... I shouldn't have made it so you guys had to do it alone. Instead of always dragging you back, I should've gone with you."

He opened his ice cream bar; it wasn't sea salt- it was chocolate, by the looks of it- but it would do. He just stared at it for a moment, though, rather than take a bite. "I had a chance to, you know," he said. "When Roxas left the Organization. I was waiting in the city when he passed by and tried to convince him not to; I knew what it would mean. But his mind was made up." He paused. "I should've gone with him. Told him what he wanted to know. Or... done anything really, other than just stand there and watch him walk away."

He sighed and took a bite of his ice cream. Then he almost choked on the second one he took. "Seriously?", he said. "You've been here how long, and you haven't gone to the dorm? Where have you been staying?" Replicas were no different than humans or humanoid Nobodies in their needs for food and sleep as far as he knew, after all, so this was concerning, especially in the cold weather.

"But hey, on the bright side, we're in the same dorm," he said. "And I think the bunk next to the one I picked is free. You could have that one, if you wanted." Please say yes so he would know this wasn't just a dream when he woke up tomorrow.

She put back the papers to open one of the ice creams. She hadn't had any yet, though she had bought them every day since she found this place. She eyed the colour suspiciously, but Axel was eating it, so it probably was fine.

She glanced at him, not taking a bite yet. "You were trying to protect us. And if you did it the wrong way..." she considered then gave him a bit of a teasing grin. "I guess even you can make a mistake once in a while, huh?" she teased. She missed this. Missed him.

She looked out at the sunset, absorbing the rest of what he had to say, taking it in small parts. It was too big, all at once.

But she glanced back at him after being silent a moment. "Roxas... left?" Had... he remembered some of what she had said at the end, somehow? She took a breath and considered for a moment more. "We'll find Roxas again, Axel. You know we will. The three of us are best friends. You made sure we had that memorized, you know."

As to where she had been staying, maybe if she didn't answer... he wouldn't notice. "Bunk next to.... you mean the room next to yours?" Each Nobody had their own blank room, that had to be the same here, right?

Lea chuckled tiredly. "A little more than 'once in a while' if you asked me," he said. "But I'm bound to get it right one of these days if I just keep at it. Hopefully."

He smiled a bit at the reminder, but then sighed. "Finding him isn't the problem," he said. "I know right where he is. It's getting to him without turning Sora into a Heartless that's the problem. But like I said, Ienzo and some others are working on it."

And oh, he did notice. But he'd save that til a bit later, along with his explanation; that way at least he wouldn't be the only one explaining things. He shook his head at her assumption. "No," he said. "A dorm is different than the rooms we ad back at the castle. Instead of a lot of smaller rooms, there's several big rooms with multiple beds in them. Not as big on privacy, but definitely more comfortable. And less... white."

Axel got it right most of the time, as far as she was concerned. More often than she did at least. She took a bite of the ice cream and made a bit of a face. Nothing wrong with it... just... not as good as sea salt ice cream.

She almost asked who Ienzo was, but she had just taken another bite. "Brain freeze," she said, putting a hand to her head, laughing a bit.

And then the thing about the beds pushed everything aside for the moment. "We... would be in the same room?" That was... different. But if it meant she was in the same room with Axel... she could accept that. And... they could save a bed for Roxas, right?

She could find shells to place there, so he would know which was his, once they found him.

The icing on the cake - Locked to Lea

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And that looks like a good transition point to the dorm. :3

Yep. New header?