diatu | The icing on the cake

The icing on the cake - Locked to Lea

Xion had spent much of the last month trying to avoid people - and failing miserably - and trying to find a perfect sunset watching spot. Until she could figure out the spell to take away everyone's memories so that she could end herself, as she knew she had to, she had to stay away from people.

But she was still Xion. And still drawn to the same things she always had been. A good ledge from which to watch the sunset, ice cream, and seashells.

Finally, at the start of the month she had found the perfect place. She didn't know how she had missed it, given it was a giant clock tower. But she found it, and for once luck was with her. No one else had been there.

Every day since she'd been buying three ice creams and heading to the top of the tower to watch the sunset. Every day.

Which was where she would be, just before sunset, a small touch of black, a familiar black coat, sitting on the ledge of a clocktower, watching the sky.....

Maybe not something most people would notice. But then most people weren't used to thinking of clock towers that way. Also, Lea really is freakishly tall....

Her hood is still up, so even he couldn't tell who it was, but really...who could he remember that sat with him, eating ice cream at the end of the day?

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Now Lea was even more confused. "Both of you were?" What. No, seriously, WHAT. "Roxas did go back to Sora; I tried to stop him, but I wasn't able to. And Sora's been awake for months now. He's currently off on another quest, trying to get back-"

But then the girl stumbled a bit. Lea moved almost before he realized what he was doing, closing the distance between them and catching a hold of her shoulder to steady her. "Whoah, careful there," he said. "This really isn't a place you want to lose your footing."

She looked up at him, startled. And not just because he might remember when she had almost fallen off the clock tower before.

"Months? I haven't been here months, Axel... and... and I saw Roxas... just before I arrived." You too, just before that.

She shook her head and looked down. "Something... something doesn't make sense. And I don't think you're lying to me this time... So....?"

Except that she had no way to end that sentence. This... this really just didn't make sense. At all.

She looked up at him again. Axel always had the answers and the bright ideas. She might not have always liked what he had to say, and she knew that he lied sometimes, but he should still know what was going on... shouldn't he....?

The almost falling thing did kick the sense of familiarity up another notch. It was so close now, he could almost...

"I'm not lying," he assured her. "But you're right about it not making sense. The only thing I can think of, is that the magic that they used to bring both of us here must be able to bring people from different times as well as places. That's the only way you can have just been with Roxas before being pulled here."

"But what did you mean about both of you being split off from Sora?", he said. "Who are you? I know I know you. It's right there; I can almost remember... Please, just tell me. Or let me see your face. Please?"

"If I take off my hood... you might not see me," she said softly. Roxas...had seen Sora. Yes, he saw her again at the end, at least... she thought he did... but if Axel saw Sora's face instead of hers, or worse... nothing... She wasn't sure she could stand it.

"But... how could we be from different times?"

Though she was willing to at least consider the possibility. "We've gone on a lot of missions to other worlds, a day there always ended at the same time for each of us, that's why we could always..."

She stopped herself there, wincing at what she had almost said.

But if they were... if... if he was further ahead and she had succeeded then.... then she was done, right? If Sora was really awake.... then.... was it okay for her... to be here?

His first impulse was to ask how he could possibly not see her when she was standing right there? But he had a feeling that wasn't what she meant.

"I don't know how it all works," he said. "That kind of magic's way beyond me. But I know it can happen. Xehanort did it; brought a dozen different versions of himself from different times all together in one place. Though I think whatever did it to us might work differently; everything else here does, apparently."

"But if you... you had ice cream with me and Roxas, we must've been friends, right?", Lea said, struggling to remember even as he completed the sentence the girl had left unfinished, easily catching the implication. "That's why you're up here. That's why the three ice creams; because there were three of us. That's why Roxas said... but I thought that was a dream? He said 'You made us a promise. That you'd always be there... to bring us back.' 'Us'. Not 'me'. He said 'us'. So there were three of us! Him, me, and... and..."

Abruptly the mental walls gave way. Lea winced, pressing a hand to his head as the memories returned in a jumbled rush. But when he opened his eyes again, there was clear recognition in them. As well as tears. "...Xion," he said.

It was hard, staying there as he worked through all of that. She wanted to help, she knew she probably should stop him, but if this thing about time was real... then...

Her scrambled jumbled thoughts screeched to a halt as he told her what Roxas had said. And then when he said her name, it was all she could do to keep her knees from going out.

Part of her was screaming to deny it, to hide, to make him forget because she had to, because Riku said it was the only way. But the other part of her, the larger part, wanted to believe that she had succeeded, that it was all over. That they were going to be able to bring Roxas back without harming Sora, without undoing everything.

Maybe that was why she was still here, clinging to this silver of an existence. To help Axel bring Roxas back.

She swallowed hard and nodded. She wanted to say something, but didn't know what. So, hand shaking, she lifted one of the ice creams towards him. It didn't seem to be enough, but she was utterly at a loss. Axel was the one there when she had headaches, when she didn't understand. She didn't know what to do on this side of it, didn't know how to be for Axel what he had always been for her and Roxas.

His face was wet. Her face was wet. Why... why were their faces wet? Did it mean something? If it was just her she would think it meant she was somehow broken again, but Axel was a regular Nobody, he didn't break down like she did....

Edited 2019-03-07 06:02 (UTC)

Lea was feeling pretty shaky on his feet himself, so he crouched down on one knee, putting himself much nearer Xion's level. "Xion...", he repeated. "Xion, it's... you're really..." Then she held out one of the ice creams to him and he couldn't help a brief burst of laughter, even as the tears finally spilled from his eyes. He accepted it, then abruptly pulled her into a hug.

"Xion... Man, I missed you," he said. "And I'm so sorry."

Yeah...she had no clue what to do with a hug. But she did lean awkwardly against him.

"How could you miss me if you didn't remember me?" she asked, a slight teasing note in her voice. Because that was what she knew, because that she could handle. Her, Axel, Roxas.. teasing each other after a hard day of work.

And... she wanted that back. Not so much the work, she would never help Xemnas again if she had any say over it. But... Ice cream with friends. That made sense.

Axel apologizing... made less sense.

Lea shook his head a bit. "I could still tell something was missing," he said. "That I'd forgotten something important. Kairi kept catching me staring at her, trying to remember... And I think I did, just for a second, when she was standing there against the sunset. She... asked me not to hold back in our training the next day, and suddenly..." He trailed off, not really sure how to describe what happened. "Suddenly... it hurt. I didn't know why at the time, but now that I remember..."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for dragging you back to the castle that last time. For hurting you, for lying, for... a lot of things. But mostly for being an idiot. And I should have been there for you and Roxas a lot sooner."

He pulled back a bit holding her more at arms length so he could look her in the eye. "But I'm gonna make it up to you," he said. "Both of you. And you can bet I've got that memorized."

"Kairi...." she whispered. The one Riku said she looked like. The one Sora remembered, leading to the memories that created her.

But from under her hood, she looked at Axel, confused by his apologies. "You were trying to help and protect us, Axel. You were always there for us. I know... I know sometimes Roxas didn't understand that, but I did. I... I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I just..."

She shook her head. "You were hurt because I was a coward, Axel, because... I didn't want to leave you and Roxas. There is nothing you have to make up to me. To us. You've always done everything you could for us. I know that."

Wow the hero worship runs deep in this one.

Too deep, really. Lea shook his head, then gently pushed her hood back. He wanted them both to see each other clearly for this. "No, Xion," he said. "You had every right to be mad at me. So did Roxas. I lied to you both and I screwed things up for you even worse than they were already because of it."

"It wasn't about protecting you two," he said. "Well, not all of it was, anyway. I just... wanted you guys to stay with me. Even when I knew, deep down, that the Organization wasn't where you belonged. If I'd really wanted to do what was best for you, I'd have told you both the truth, and taken you to try to find Sora as soon as I figured out what was going on. Maybe then Naminé could have... I dunno... done something, and the two of you would have been able to stay as yourselves."

"Not to mention, the last time I saw you, I practically gift-wrapped you for Xemnas, and gave him the chance to do who knows what to you," he said. "I wasn't hurt because of you. I was hurt because I was an idiot, and because I was too concerned about keeping things the way I wanted them to do what you guys really needed me to do. And I'm sorry."

She was terrified when he pushed back her hood, terrified of what he would... or would not see... but he kept talking, and she realized that he saw her... and more.. what he was saying....

"I wanted us to all stay together too, Axel," she said softly. "But Naminé was always going to have to destroy me to fix Sora... I think... that was why I kept fighting. If you could beat me, if you could take me back home.. thenI knew that was where I still belonged. It was only... only at the end that I realized how right Riku was, that I was being selfish."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't better at any of this Axel. But.... But if I succeeded, and Sora is awake... and you're here... we...we can go find Roxas... right? Maybe... have that day off at the beach?"

Yeah, she needed to get to lighter things also.

"The Organization isn't where any of us belonged," Lea said. "For a lot of reasons. Some of which are gonna require a lot of explaining. But we were all being used, and that's not a situation anyone should be forced to stay in."

"And we don't know the limits of what Naminé's powers were," he said. "If you'd gotten to her earlier..." He trailed off, realizing that that would just be arguing in circles. "Either way, I guess we'll never know. But it's not selfish, wanting to stay with your friends, even if it feels that way. And needing time to decide to do something like that doesn't make you a coward. Just being able to decide to do something like that is really brave; I'm not sure I'd have been able to, if it had been me."

He sighed and finally sat down fully on the cold stone ledge, the exhaustion of the day and the emotional revelations he'd just been through beginning to catch up with him again. "It's a little cold for a beach day right now around here, even if Roxas does turn up," he said. Privately, he very much hoped that he would, but hesitated to say so out loud, for fear of jinxing it. "Back home though? That's what I'm hoping. After all, if Ienzo and the others can find a way to get Roxas out of Sora safely, there's no reason they wouldn't be able to do the same for you too. And I did promise."

"Right now though? I'm beat," he said. "There's a ton of stuff we need to catch up on, and stuff I need to explain, and it's really an insane amount to get memorized, but that's likely gonna have to wait til tomorrow. Right now I just wanna eat this ice cream, then hopefully find my way back to the dorm and go to bed."

Which reminded him of something. "What dorm did they stick you in, by the way?", he asked. "I'm in Ka."

"If I wasn't being selfish, wanting to stay, then you weren't being selfish wanting to keep us with you," she said firmly. Axel was one of the only two people she could be at all firm or assertive with, because she knew they wouldn't smack her down for it. Though they might tease her some. But from them... that was fine.

She sat next to him, and shook her head. "I don't think I was brave... so much as desperate. They... they were going to kill either Roxas or I... weren't they?" she asked, softly. "Since we couldn't both work well at the same time." Her eyes closed as she looked at the two remaining ice creams that she held.

She did want to know who Ienzo was. She... wanted to know a lot of things, honestly. Like what was Roxas' somebody, Sora, like? Was he just like Roxas? If Kingdom Hearts was a lie... how could they get Axel's heart back for him? Could... could a fake like her every get a heart at all? A million questions were in her mind, though the space between them, Roxas' place in the middle, was cold and empty.

When he asked about the dorm, she opened her eyes. "I'm not sure." She'd been here a month and still had not checked out the dorms.

Xion shifted the ice creams to one hand and reached into a pocket to pull out the folded papers she had been given. She opened them carefully so that they would not blow away. "Ka," she said, holding them up so that he could see the words.

"Yeah, I know," Lea said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit sheepishly. "But the way I did it was still wrong. I should've told you guys the truth. Then we could've... I dunno, run away together, or something." He paused. "Even if it couldn't have changed what happened in the end... I shouldn't have made it so you guys had to do it alone. Instead of always dragging you back, I should've gone with you."

He opened his ice cream bar; it wasn't sea salt- it was chocolate, by the looks of it- but it would do. He just stared at it for a moment, though, rather than take a bite. "I had a chance to, you know," he said. "When Roxas left the Organization. I was waiting in the city when he passed by and tried to convince him not to; I knew what it would mean. But his mind was made up." He paused. "I should've gone with him. Told him what he wanted to know. Or... done anything really, other than just stand there and watch him walk away."

He sighed and took a bite of his ice cream. Then he almost choked on the second one he took. "Seriously?", he said. "You've been here how long, and you haven't gone to the dorm? Where have you been staying?" Replicas were no different than humans or humanoid Nobodies in their needs for food and sleep as far as he knew, after all, so this was concerning, especially in the cold weather.

"But hey, on the bright side, we're in the same dorm," he said. "And I think the bunk next to the one I picked is free. You could have that one, if you wanted." Please say yes so he would know this wasn't just a dream when he woke up tomorrow.

She put back the papers to open one of the ice creams. She hadn't had any yet, though she had bought them every day since she found this place. She eyed the colour suspiciously, but Axel was eating it, so it probably was fine.

She glanced at him, not taking a bite yet. "You were trying to protect us. And if you did it the wrong way..." she considered then gave him a bit of a teasing grin. "I guess even you can make a mistake once in a while, huh?" she teased. She missed this. Missed him.

She looked out at the sunset, absorbing the rest of what he had to say, taking it in small parts. It was too big, all at once.

But she glanced back at him after being silent a moment. "Roxas... left?" Had... he remembered some of what she had said at the end, somehow? She took a breath and considered for a moment more. "We'll find Roxas again, Axel. You know we will. The three of us are best friends. You made sure we had that memorized, you know."

As to where she had been staying, maybe if she didn't answer... he wouldn't notice. "Bunk next to.... you mean the room next to yours?" Each Nobody had their own blank room, that had to be the same here, right?

Lea chuckled tiredly. "A little more than 'once in a while' if you asked me," he said. "But I'm bound to get it right one of these days if I just keep at it. Hopefully."

He smiled a bit at the reminder, but then sighed. "Finding him isn't the problem," he said. "I know right where he is. It's getting to him without turning Sora into a Heartless that's the problem. But like I said, Ienzo and some others are working on it."

And oh, he did notice. But he'd save that til a bit later, along with his explanation; that way at least he wouldn't be the only one explaining things. He shook his head at her assumption. "No," he said. "A dorm is different than the rooms we ad back at the castle. Instead of a lot of smaller rooms, there's several big rooms with multiple beds in them. Not as big on privacy, but definitely more comfortable. And less... white."

Axel got it right most of the time, as far as she was concerned. More often than she did at least. She took a bite of the ice cream and made a bit of a face. Nothing wrong with it... just... not as good as sea salt ice cream.

She almost asked who Ienzo was, but she had just taken another bite. "Brain freeze," she said, putting a hand to her head, laughing a bit.

And then the thing about the beds pushed everything aside for the moment. "We... would be in the same room?" That was... different. But if it meant she was in the same room with Axel... she could accept that. And... they could save a bed for Roxas, right?

She could find shells to place there, so he would know which was his, once they found him.

Yeah, definitely not as good as sea-salt ice cream. But then that was Lea's favorite for a reason; hard to top it. Still all in all, it wasn't bad. Though he had to admit this wasn't exactly the best weather for it.

Lea chuckled too at her comment about brain freeze. "Probably shouldn't take too long to finish it though," he said. "Or we could end up with more than just our brains frozen. Once the sun sets the whole way, it'll probably get dark pretty fast, and a good bit colder."

Lea nodded. "I haven't seen any signs that say the dorms aren't co-ed- that is, guys and girls sharing the same rooms- so it's probably a good idea to stick together as much as we can." For that, read: he's not about to let you out of his sight for awhile if he can help it.

"Alright," she said, taking another bite. She was going to have to learn the name of this flavour and not get it again, though. She looked at the third ice cream, wondering who was going to eat that one, or if they should just leave it here.

She looked up at him and nodded. She didn't want him going away anywhere either. She took another bite, just to try and finish the thing.

Lea looked at the third ice cream too, as he took another bite of his own. Normally, he'd just eat it himself, but so soon after dinner, he doubted he'd be able to. He finally opted to just pick it up to take with them.

"I think I saw some kind of fridge or something in the common room back at the dorm," he said. "We'll just stick the extra ice cream in there and somebody else can have it, if they want it." No sense letting perfectly good ice cream go to waste, after all.

"Alright." That didn't automatically invite whoever ate it to join them though... right? She didn't ask it, but she was thinking it. She made herself finish the rest of hers in one bite.

Given that they wouldn't even necessarily know who it was, no it didn't. But Lea quickly finished the rest of his ice cream too, grimacing slightly at both the coldness and the flavor. "Remind me to see if they have other flavors besides chocolate next time," he said as he got to his feet. "It's not bad, but it's almost too sweet, you know?"

She nodded. "I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I just bought whatever was on top."

Lea stretched slightly, checked his stick out of habit- there was nothing on it- then offered Xion a hand up. "Anyway, let's head back to the dorm," he said. "I should be able to find my way there without getting lost this time." At least he hoped so; it would really embarrassing if he couldn't.

The icing on the cake - Locked to Lea

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And that looks like a good transition point to the dorm. :3

Yep. New header?