diatu | So It's Come To This: An NPC Intervention

So It's Come To This: An NPC Intervention

Who: Vaarsuvius and Headmaster Camillah Birony
What: It is time for a heart-to-heart.
Where: ?????
When: ?????
Warnings: ?????

One rant can be forgiven. Two, less so. And a threat of existential crisis, not at all.

The space they inhabit is much like the Headmaster's office as one might envision it, an image seen in the mind and intermixed with the blackness behind sightless eyes. The only truly clear figure in it is Headmaster Birony, who sits with her feet up on her image of a desk, hands folded behind her head as she leans back in her supremely comfortable chair.

"All right, Vaarsuvius," she says, quite pleasantly, as she motions for the elf to take a seat in a chair that hadn't been there moments before. "You think you're better than us, fine. You think you have all the answers, okay. You somehow feel you have the moral high ground to scream at the people who are trying to help you and protect others, whatever. And you're endangering all of us and apparently attempting to sign your soul over to an enemy of humanity? I gotta draw the line there. So let's talk."

She thumps one heel on her desk. A poster on the front promptly unrolls; it reads "YOU'RE SCREWING UP BADLY. CHANGE MY MIND."

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The Headmaster sinks back into her chair, fingers working at her forehead.

"There is. Only. One. Form. Of Magic. All you are doing is shoving your rules into it. You are going to break it if you keep that up. And I'm not going to let you. Either stop voluntarily or I'll stop you. End of story."

"Magic is not a cheap lute one buys from a store at level one, it cannot be broken. At least not without a proper epic level quest."

And quite frankly, V would love to see you try...

Headmaster Birony proves that she might actually have some small capacity for her position by failing to roll her eyes.

"The Curricula can. And they exist for a very good reason. Without that structure, magic is unstable and chaos can and will result. Thus why we stay within the Curricula. And you need to. You are not more important than this world and all its people."

"If there were only one way to do magic there would only be ONE magic using class! But there isn't! There are Sorcerers and Wizards who use Arcane magic Clerics and Paladins who use Devine, Druids and Rangers who use Nature magic and don't even get me started on Bards and other classes that really shouldn't even HAVE magic. Magic is like life! There is no singular path! it grows and evolves! It has twists and turns and new secrets to explore always! Thinking there is only one way limited only the mage, not the magic!"

Cam Birony rocks her open hands back and forth, like she's balancing something. "Our world. Not your world. Our world. Okay? Get it? Our world. Our rules. Our fundamental force of reality the likes of which you know nothing, no matter how many years you studied on your world. Is this clear? Is any of this getting through to you? I can't make it clearer."

"Show me the source book," V said after a long moment.

She motions in the direction of the Library of Starchime, which conveniently communicates itself despite having no reason to whatsoever."That's the Grand Codifications. Before which there were no rules at all."

"I have done much research in that library, but shall read these Codifications as well. I presume you will be, in fact, sending a party after the dragon?"

"I think you are just -- underestimating how easily we can handle a normal dragon. Let alone a ghost dragon. We're honestly all lucky to be alive!" Headmaster Birony said, all perky again. "Except the ghosts. They're not that lucky."

"I honestly cannot tell if you are trying to claim that defeating the dragon will be easy or impossible," V said, irritated.

"Pretty much impossible! Aside from it already being dead and that not stopping it, it took... let's just say a lot of work, a LOT of work, to shake off the yoke of dragonkind. And a really lucky accident or three. One of them alone is more powerful than everyone here, put together, then doubled." Snapping her fingers shut like jaws, she demonstrated the most likely outcome of anyone challenging the dragon.

"Aren't cases like this, impossible to defeat monsters, more powerful than all the people combined EXACTLY the sort of plot hook that leads to the formation of a party?!"

"Not when a mysterious group of otherworldly people and beings has showed up, for reasons and purposes unknown," the Headmaster counters.

V's jaw actually dropped for a long moment. "That... that sounds EXACTLY like the start of an epic campaign plot hook?!" Was everyone here insane? "Make the party out of a misfit band of Sundered and natives, and you have a unlikely team that is sure to win the day!"

Headmaster Birony shakes her head. "No, no, no. There are enough Sundered that we're clearly on the 'wide scale' level of engagement. This isn't a small-unit-tactics situation any more. But there aren't enough that it's a societal upheaval either!"

".....Social upheaval?" So was THAT the plot hook then? V could work with that, probably.

"Yes. We'd like to avoid that. Riots bad. Fearmongering bad. Slaying of innocents, very bad." And the Sundered are innocents! By virtue of being convicted under no laws in the Tenscore Kingdoms!

Except for the elf she's facing right now. Hmm.

"Yes, because that is the only form of social upheaval. Right."

"Well, it's MUCH more likely than, say, you guys overthrowing our kingdoms and establishing a tyranny!"

"The presupposes any of us wish to remain here long enough to bother with wishing to be in control."

"Some of you want to stay, you know," Headmaster Birony says evenly. "So making sure they can is important too."

"What about this world do you think is so appealing that given any other option at all people would choose to remain?"

"Lack of enemies." She ticks off the points on her fingers. "Lack of horrible circumstances. Being alive. Those are three big ones, I think!"

"Big undead dragon ringing any bells?" V asked, dryly. "So not a lack of enemies, just a lack of arch rivals. I am pretty certain losing our own powers and being saddled with powers that will kill us if we fail to master them qualifies as a horrible circumstance, even before we consider the nightmare of this school all on its own. As to being alive, death is only a concern if your party lacks the diamonds or access to a high enough level cleric to bring you back. or if you are someone for whom your party would not spend for a resurrection."

"Big undead dragon is a general enemy, not a specific one. Big difference!" It just wants to kill everyone IMpersonally, not specifically hunt people down for who they are. "Also it may shock you to hear we don't routinely resurrect the dead around here... which I realize may account for some of your, ah, lack of sensitivity towards others."

"Why? Not enough Clerics? Just pledge money to raise a temple to their gods, and there you go. A group of clerics thrilled to bring back the dead and heal your wounds for a reasonable donation. Or just have one on staff and pay their fees."

Yes, this is why V really doesn't think much of explosive runes. Healing spells and potions are abundant where V comes from. Especially at higher levels.

"Just don't try to save money by hiring paladins. More trouble than they're worth."

"Right. See, those aren't a thing here. And neither is raising the dead. There are maybe three people who can do it, and they're all the best of the best of the very very best wizards."

"That's a wizard class skill in this set." How odd. "Very well, so then what is needed is to train more wizards to that level. Very well."

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So It's Come To This: An NPC Intervention

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Shame V';s canon point is from before meeting Elan's dad....

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