diatu | Kingdom Hearts Catch All

It was good news, or seemed to be. But like Isa, Lea could hear the huge 'but' that Roxas' downward glance had left hanging in the air.

"Did... something else happen?", he asked a bit tentatively. He didn't really want to know, but knew he needed to. He just hoped that the answer wouldn't be that they were going to be thrown into another huge crisis so soon after finding each other again.

At the thought that something else had happened, she froze for a moment but then... she realized what it had to be.

Incorrectly, as it turned out. Roxas was about to tell her that they couldn't both use their Keyblades that it had to be him or her. She realized that a while ago, here. And already accepted that now that he was here, she would never use her Keyblade, oir her magic, again. So what they were all so worried about was really nothing after all. So as soon as Roxas aid that, she could tell him it was alright. She could make things better for him. For once she could do something good for her friends.

"...yeah." Of course Isa would be the first to notice; rarely anything had gotten past him, even as a Nobody.

"During the battle, Kairi was captured by Xemnas. Sora didn't want to clash with Xehanort to make the X-Blade, so Xehanort..."

He glanced at Lea and Xion for a moment, not knowing how they would react; they had a connection to Kairi, after all. But after a brief pause, he continued.

"...he struck down Kairi, to get to Sora. After we finally defeated Xehanort, Sora used the Power of Waking one last time, to rescue Kairi. But after he did, Sora... vanished." He frowned, a hand unconsciously going up to hover over his chest.

"I don't know where he went, or what happened. I just know that my connection to him, it felt weaker, somehow."

Isa's expression went dark.

"I see." The measured, controlled tone his voice took spoke volumes. He never had a chance to call Sora a friend, but hearing what had happened to the boy still made his heart feel like it dropped out of his chest.

Anger flashed in Lea's eyes at the mention of what Xehanort had done to Kairi. For a moment, he wanted the creepy old man there, just so he could punch him in the mouth. He seemed to have been making an effort to be more horrible every time he or part of him turned up, and not for the first time, Lea wonder how someone with a heart could have so little empathy.

But he kept his mouth shut, waiting until Roxas had finished. And that gave him a whole other reason to be angry, even if that anger swiftly turned to sadness. He was quiet for a long moment, his eyes closed. But then he took a deep breath and stood back up so he could look at everyone properly, though he kept his hands on Xion and Roxas' shoulders.

His expression was determined and his voice unwavering as he said, "Sora will be alright. I may not know him as well as some, but I know one thing, and that's that he'd never leave his friends hanging. It might take him a little while, but he'll find his way back from wherever he disappeared to and will probably waste no time telling us all about the crazy adventures he had while he was away. Because he's Sora."

Xion had been stunned that it wasn't the answer she expected but listening she wondered if she wasn't that far off. She and Roxas were there, and Sora was gone. This... was familiar ground. "Is it because we are there, Roxas?" she asked him softly. Roxas said he felt a connection to Sora weaken. "Do we need to return to him," she asked in a near whisper, "so that he can return to the people who need him?"

It really was amazing, how many hearts Sora has connected with. Even if it was in a small way. He could see how each of them reacted to the news, and even Isa reacted. His hands clenched and unclenched, feeling the familiar anger himself; it wasn't fair, how Kairi had been taken, and how Sora had sacrificed even more just to ensure his friends were okay.

Funny, really, how before he had despised Sora so much, and now he felt sorrow at his Somebody's vanishing.

He nods at Lea's words, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah. If anyone could do it, it would be Sora." And even with the sense of loss, he knew that Lea spoke the truth.

Hearing Xion's quiet whisper, he turned to her, shaking his head. "No, it's not. And we don't have to return to him, Xion. None of us who were in his heart do." Sora's heart had been both prison and refuge to many people, after all. "We have our own hearts now... and Sora's heart is strong enough to not need us in it anymore. We're our own people now."

"And even if Sora were to need help, he has plenty of friends to light the way back home," Isa adds, knowing that everyone who touched Sora's heart would do anything they could to guide him home.

He looks between Roxas and Xion, a part of him wants to insist that he didn't risk everything to get them proper vessels just for them to return to Sora, but he holds his tongue, knowing how unhelpful that would be right now.

Lea was immediately grateful to Roxas for pointing out to Xion that she had a heart. Hopefully coming from him, it would stick, finally.

He nodded his agreement to what both Roxas and Isa said. "Yeah," he said. "Our hearts will always be connected to his. Just... not quite that closely any more. Besides, like Isa said, we gotta be there to light his way back home, and you can't very well do that if you're inside him."

She shook her head. They were wrong. They had to be. She didn't have a heart, couldn't. She'd know if she did. And she'd be different. But she wasn't different. She was still Xion. She didn't want a heart if it was going to change her! Why couldn't they see that? She found herself breathing hard, but she wasn't sure why.

She closed her eyes, not aware she was shaking. No. they were wrong. It was happening again. Soon Riku would find her. Tell her what she needed to do. And this time... this time Axel wouldn't be alone. He'd have other people. She wouldn't make him suffer by fighting it or being indecisive. She wasn't meant to exist, and everytime she did in some form almost exist, something horrible happened to Sora. And Axel said it himself, lots of people depended on Sora. Needed him.

Roxas could see her breathing hard, and seeing her tremble made his expression fall. Briefly, he's reminded of a foggy memory that's not quite his; of seeing Xion's hooded form through Sora's eyes, trying desperately to reach out to her. He stepped forward, slowly raising a hand to rest it on her shoulder.

"Xion, it's alright. We may be have come from Sora, but you have your own heart, just as much as I do. It took me a long time to realize that, but it's the truth. And Sora, he fought hard so each of our hearts could be set free. I didn't know before, but I learned that having a heart... it doesn't change who you are. It makes you, you."

He may still be somewhat unfamiliar with emotions, but he's learned a lot about the heart while resting in Sora's. He gently squeezed her shoulder, hoping his words could reach her, and break through that wall of fear.

"It's all right, Xion. Trust me... I wouldn't lie to you. Not about this."

Despite his and Roxas' reassurances, he could feel Xion trembling under his hand. But he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why. Yes, the knowledge that Sora had gone missing was disheartening, but it wasn't that bad, especially given how resilient Sora was. And the only reason she'd need to return to Sora was due to the memories that gotten lost in her, which had already been returned. So why was she so afraid?

He nodded his agreement with Roxas. "Yeah," he said. "I know I don't have the best history with that, but I wouldn't lie to you about that either. So trust us when we say that you have a heart, just like Roxas and I do. You and Roxas are your own people now, and that's what Sora would want you to be."

Except she wasn't, she couldn't be. He was wrong this time! They both were. But she couldn't say any of that. Not in front of Saïx, maybe not at all. The part of her that didn't want to let Roxas out of her sight lost against the part of her that needed to get away. NOW. Swallowing hard, she broke and ran. They had each other. They had each other before she was created, and this time they'd take care of each other. This time they wouldn't need magic to forget her when she vanished.

Roxas gasped as Xion turned and began running, his hand held out as he stood, stunned. It took his brain a few beats to register that she had even run off, but once he did he gave a start.

"Xion, wait!"

Not waiting to see if Lea or Isa would follow, he took off after her. Why did she run?? He had to catch up to her!

Her feet stumbled a bit when she heard him call out to her, but she shook her head and made herself keep running. He'd go back in to Axel. They'd have each other. They wouldn't make the same mistakes they made last time she was gone. Right? Right?

She was not running as fast as she usually did, as fast as she could, conflicted as she was. Because part of her did want to go back in and cling to them and stay with them forever, no matter what. But that couldn't be. She knew that now. If Sora was missing her job was to go back to him. She didn't have a heart, she wasn't ever a Somebody. She wasn't meant to exist. Why should she make Riku come looking for her to tell her she had to go back? This time she knew what the right choice had to be.

Didn't she?

While Xion might not be running as fast as she can, Roxas definitely was. He needed to catch up with her, to try and talk to her; if his words caused her to react like this, maybe he could help convince her to calm down, or to see that she hadn't done anything wrong.

Once he got close enough, he reached out, trying to grab her wrist.

"Xion, wait!"

She stumbled to a stop as he caught her arm. She tried weakly to pull it away, but didn't put much force into the pulling. She didn't want to hurt Roxas, even by accident.

He tugged a little when she stumbled, not to cause her to fall or cause her to be hurt, but rather to help stabilize her. He could feel her tugging on his arm, but he held her grasp. He frowned, holding her still.

"Xion, please, talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't have a heart," she whispered. Then growing louder "I don't! And I DON'T WANT ONE!"

Roxas balked at the sudden yell, taking a step back. In his surprise, he let go of her hand, but he kept it outstretched to her.

"Xion... Why don't you want a heart?"

She bowed her head, looking down at her hands, her back still to him. She swallowed hard, then said softly. "Either Saïx is lying, or having a heart changes.... changes who you are." Her head shook. Actually, so did the rest of her, just in a different way. "Axel keeps claiming that he was different without a heart and that we only saw the parts of him that were closest to how he was when he had a heart. I don't know how much that is true..." she said softly. Not that she thought Axel was lying it was just... hard to believe. "But if it is true, and if Saïx is telling the truth...."

She swallowed again still looking down. "I was never real to begin with," she whispered. "I was created out of someone's memories of someone else. What little there is that is me... It is too small. If that changes... I'm not me anymore," she whispered, tears sliding down her face. "That last time... you couldn't even see me, Roxas, you saw Sora's head on my shoulders. That is how little of me there is. If I had a heart... it would be someone else in this failing shell. And what little there is of me... would be gone forever."

With those last words, she started to run again.

"Xion..!"

Roxas reaches out for her again, but she's running before he can stop her. He takes a few steps forward after her, but despite the ache in his chest at her words, he can't run after her. He doesn't know what to say to her to help her to see that she does have her own heart, and is her own person. And try as he might to think of what to say, he's worried that anything he does say will make things worse. And even if he could say the right thing, right now, he's not sure if she would listen to her.

So, he lets her go... for now. And a bit later on-- later that same day, or a day or two later-- he'll try to track her down, see if he can try to talk to her again.

Xion has been hiding out, away from the others, unsure what to do about sunset and ice cream. But... Axel had Roxas now. If she went...

Xion shook her head and didn't go for ice cream at the end of the day. She found a small corner for herself in a storage closet and hid there, unwilling to watch the sunset if she was watching it alone. Eventually, without meaning to, she fell asleep. Deeply enough that she didn't hear a student coming in to get a box of rulers, and was unaware that people were talking about the weird thing in the closet that might be a person, maybe? Knowing this school who knew. But whatever it was it was all in black and didn't seem to move....

Roxas didn't find Xion for the rest of that day. It worried him that he couldn't find her, but he had to try and reassure himself. He'd get through to her somehow, he was sure of it. He just had to figure out how...

Also, had to figure out where to find her. She was surprisingly difficult to find, and it was only by chance he heard about a rumour of some weird 'thing' living in the closet. Given how he had no other leads on Xion's whereabouts, Roxas figured it was worth checking out.

He approached the closet in question carefully, opening it slowly and peeking his head through the door.

"...Xion?"

While she slept through everyone else coming in or out, his voice woke her. Well mostly. She was a little groggy and stiff and disoriented. "Roxas...?" she asked, peering up from under her hood as she tried to remember where she was. And... why she was there.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

So jumping ahead to when he finds her?

Sure!

Re: Sure!