diatu | Surf's up, School's out

Surf's up, School's out

Who: Crowley and OPEN - (Now with bonus August Adventure)
What: A demon getting used to school, meeting new people, going to class... what could go wrong?
Where: In and about the Academy (August Catchall)
When: First day of class
Warnings: Bit of cursing here and there

Room 666
The shades were drawn but only enough so that the light streamed into the room through a narrow slit, brightening the center of the room but leaving the corners rather dark and secluded. That car was still out there. He couldn't make out who was in the driver's seat... if indeed there was anyone in the driver's seat at all... but it had been following him. He thought it had been following him anyway. Maybe it was a mistake?
Maybe every one in this place drove silver DeLorean's. He was too suspicious to be that gullible!

Crowley stood near the window peering out past the curtains, glaring at the stalkers car, fully content to watch it as long as it took to find out who was following him... that is until there was a knock on his door which necessitated his sauntering over to answer it. Now whether the knock had been on purpose or accidental he leaned on the frame and looked over the person in the hall.

"If you are selling I have all the paper and quills I will ever need... Maybe if you try the next door down? And knock really loud," he added for just that extra touch of demonic mischief to incite the maximum level of disturbance to his new neighbor, "They are a bit hard of hearing."

First Class
Crowley came to class on that first day in typical style. He was late and wearing his stylish outfit from home instead of his assigned uniform. He made a grand production of taking a seat at the back of the classroom and propping up his feet on the back of the desk chair in front of him... very nearly on top of the head of the student sitting at that desk.

Intimations class. Crowley had no idea what that was, barely looked at the syllabus when one was passed around to him, and was more focused on constructing a few paper wads to fling at the other student in the next row over... until the instructor demonstrated one of the spells they would be learning in the class by reciting a prayer to the God of Love. Then his demonic outcry would be heard echoing throughout the school.

"NGK!!! What the Heaven... What kind of class is this?!"

With a prayer and a gesture by an irate instructor who had had enough Crowley would find himself unceremoniously magically teleported out of the classroom for being too much of a disturbance. He is bound to reappear; falling from the air, crashing into your dorm bed, splashing down in the middle of a pool... feel free to run into him anywhere.

Escape
He was outside in a flash, hopping down the cement steps and taking off across the lawn in long-legged gate.

"No, no, no, no, no! This is ridiculous! I can't be in that kind of class! Or have that kind of magic!"

Fear and uncertainty manifested itself as anger and he hissed to himself as he fled the school building.

"It has to be a mistake or..."

With a fierce glare he staggered back to snark at the sky.

"Some great big pissing joke!"

He knows you are up there God and just laughing your ass off about this! There would be no answer of course, there never was. There was only the interminable silence and the fear that this was all some how ineffable.

August Adventure - Panic At The Fresco

Renowned artist Brank Cee just finished his latest masterpiece -- only for a sudden Valhudor flash mob to erupt just as he hung it up to dry! Now he's over here, the piece is over there, and the lead actor has come within a hair's breadth of skewering it with his sword prop three different times in one duel alone! He can't get through the crowd to recover it, let alone the performance. Oh please, rescue his painting and he will reward you!

Lounging on a bench Crowley looked up at the panicked artist, then over to the flash mob, then laid right back down where he had been .

"Why not just walk over there and get it yourself? Yea, yea, yea... you are afraid of getting conscripted to the play."

It did seem like they were pulling people in from all over. Willing and not-so willing participants either joined in with the song and dance or sulked angrily in the background.

"I don't know why you think I want to get caught up in it either."

Besides, like a flicker of flame springing to life, he suddenly had a better idea one he sat bolt upright for.

"Why not leave the painting where it is? So it gets skewered! All you need is a crowd of people watching and you could make a bundle off those bits of painting fragments still hanging in the frame. Call it performance art! They will see you as a genius."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Oh, well, I hope that is not entirely true. I certainly cannot stop being an alicorn, but it might be nice to not be Princess Celestia to everypony for a bit."

And even cheetahs could change their spots. Celestia believed that, had to believe that.

"I'm not saying I'm going to be out there collecting souls or anything... What would be the point? I wouldn't even know how to deliver them. The Royal Mail doesn't travel between worlds."

As far as he knew, the Royal Mail didn't travel between worlds. That would be a Heaven of an expensive stamp!

"But, I'm also not going to behave."

Celestia put a hoof to her chin again. "Wouldn't misbehaving all the time become wearily predictable? If I were in your position, I'd behave some of the time, just so nopony could suspect when I was about to misbehave."

"It won't!"

He protested mostly because if he became too boring or predictable for everyone else then it would be too boring and predictable for him too.

"I've been doing this for centuries. I know how to keep things creative."

"That's very good to hear. I find it amazing what lengths you might have to go to, after so long in a role, to achieve your goals without compromising yourself." Like sabotaging an entire gala, for example.

He could do that, find a way to sabotage an entire gala... WELL! Make it more exciting anyway! A stuffy gala could do with a few surprises.

"I've perfected the art."

This being the art of being a very minor gremlin in the machine and likely also of boasting. Never let it be said he was modest.

"Then I'd very much like to hear more, if I may! I'm always interested in learning how to make my duties a little more tolerable." Not that she minded them for the most part, truly. But they DID tend to take over her days entirely.

"There's not much to it. Observation, imagination, you see what other people are doing and find some way of getting in the way of that... or getting some one else to get in the way for you."

If you were a lazy demon who liked to goof off that last skill was truly the one to learn.

"A lot of temptation is asking the right sorts of questions."

"Oh? I would think that a fair amount of time, it's not asking the questions, but raising them by not asking."

For example, by saying just that to get him to say more.

Only to this he shrugs, not inclined to say much more about it at all.

"Like I said, it's an art. Much like being a Alicorn or a Princess might be."

His head tilted, taking in her apparently regal horn and wings.

"How does one get to be an Alicorn Princess anyway?"

"Alicorns are, inevitably, Princesses. My sister and I were the first, but after than some very rare and special ponies managed to earn their wings by proving themselves capable of handling its responsibilities and demands." Celestia lifted one hoof as she spoke, as if to indicate that such a requirement was obvious.

She said that so primly and with no ambiguity, leaving it clear that there was no room for what she said to be any other way, that it couldn't help but remind Crowley of a certain angel. If this outcome were the obvious one, it wasn't so obvious to him.

"Why's that? Anyone could walk around with wings and a horn."

"But they do not. Ponies most typically are earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. In the centuries of my and my sister's rule, only two ponies have earned the status, by proving their ability to handle its responsibility." She looked up and away, thoughtful for a moment. "It is a literal, magical transformation."

Magical transformation... or righteous club with a 'member's only policy' which was the way it was sounding to Crowley. Then his experiences had been with a Heaven that had been content to throw him out so it might not have been the same.

"Sounds a bit holier-than-thou."

"I can understand why you might feel that way, but perhaps I should explain a little more. For example, my sister and I are Princesses of the Night and Day. Luna raises and lowers the moon each night, while I raise and lower the sun by day. Luna guards the dreams of Equestria at night, while I deal with politics and law by day. The magic of an alicorn is qualitatively different, so it does indeed come with immense responsibility."

Night and day, were in many cultures equated with good and evil. The moon and the darkness of night being more associated with evil while the sun and the light were more inline with the good. It followed then that Crowley found himself liking Celestia. Despite being a creature of evil he was often drawn to the light. Besides, some how she seemed like a much more patient Aziraphale, willing to listen to his demonic questions without judging... too much.

"That's very Roman Pantheon."

Also angelic with the laws and responsibilities bit.

"So if you are here... who is bringing the sun up everyday?"

"My sister, no doubt. I took on her duties for a period in which she was indisposed, in turn." Which was putting a really good spin on a thousand years of imprisonment. "If not her, either my niece or my former pupil have the power to do it, though it's somewhat further from their talents."

Family. That word kept coming up around him lately, usually from Aziraphale in regards to Alec. And that is what sisters were. Apparently they looked out for each other, took on one another's responsibilities... Huh.

"Nothing to worry about back home then. Guess the other unicorns have it covered."

"Alicorns," she corrected, as gently as the first time and doubtless not for the last. "It used to be that unicorns performed the task, but it took six of them and drained them terribly."

Patience of a saint. He had thought it before but felt that sentiment reinforced as she corrected his unicorn faux pas once more. And he would have to do it again! Just to see if she would always be so sweet and patient about it or if she might just lose it and yell at him. Just a little friendly demonic needling.

"I can see why they stopped letting them handle it, you wouldn't want to go draining unicorns."

He quite liked unicorns and had always wondered where they had disappeared to after the Flood. Apparently they went to another planet, formed their own society, and caused planetary bodies to move with their magic! Who knew.

"Kind of a downgrade, isn't it? You were a Princess, moving suns around, and now you are going to school... Doing homework."

Celestia had been Princess of the Day for two millennia now. Her patience was pretty hard to overestimate.

"Not at all! Being a Princess is a responsibility, a very serious one. This is much like a vacation, and I delight in learning, so all the better a one for me!"

She's not putting a good spin on this, she 100% believes this!

So much optimism! Crowley meanwhile wasn't sure what to make of his situation, though talking to her and others would end up giving him an idea or two.

"You already know how to move a sun! What do they have you studying here?"

"A great deal about humans, and their society and culture, for one. That's certainly something I can't learn in Equestria." Or anywhere but here!

"Oh, people watching."

This was a hobby of his too. Crowley had been doing it for centuries now.

"you can learn a lot from them, they are diabolical!"

"I take it you're a fan of people?" Which seemed an odd way to put it, but nonetheless a relevant one for their purposes.

Surf's up, School's out

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