diatu | kaiba is ridiculous, a post (dec. catchall)

kaiba is ridiculous, a post (dec. catchall)

who: Kaiba and you!
what: Brooding, searching, and making trouble around campus
where: All around campus and town!
when: any time!

It's been a whirlwind of a last few days for Kaiba. He's been even more emotionally distant than usual from the proceedings as of late, swooping around campus bundled in his winter cloak and pointedly striding to his next destination.

His first attempt at ignoring his problems is a midterm prep disaster. He's studying illusory magic by attempting to create a living chess game, and the pieces...aren't quite behaving. There's a miniature war all across the floor here---might want to step back or you might find a tiny knight ramming into your foot.

His next attempt consists of burrowing in the living library, surrounded by a stack of books a mile high. And they're getting higher, somehow...a stacking spell gone wrong. He fires up at the stack trying to contain it, but finds himself pushed back and over another pile. This...is a mess. Careful trying to enter or the tide of hardcovers might sweep you away!

Finally, realizing that his magical control isn't in top shape today, he retreats to a small hallway a short distance from Purifeul tower, tapping his pen against the pages of a journal. He'd almost welcome being thrown into someone else's chaos at this point.

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...but Kaiba doesn't let his problems distract him from the fact that his boyfriend is likely worried by his silence. He scrawls a quick message to him shortly after the fallout at the party.

...if you see a grey-faced, loud, and obnoxious girl, don't engage her. She just wants to cause trouble.

Kaiba! What's been going on? Is everything ok? It feels like forever since we've talked. I know you have a lot going on, but...

[He hesitates a moment before answering.]

I'm sorry, Yugi. I've felt off. Something else happened, and I realized I'm not as fine as I pretend to be. I'll come if you want, but I'm warning you I'm not...in the best mood.

I... I should have been there for you, Kaiba. I'm sorry I hadn't noticed sooner. I've been a bit caught up in things, myself. I'm really sorry. I'd like to see you again. And be there for you. Like not only a friend, but a boyfriend should. And that's fine. Understandable, even. But please, I'd like to see you again. Where would you like to meet?

I'll come to your dorm. I'll tell you there.

[ And he does, standing at the doorway and looking like he could sleep for a week. Despite it all, the corner of his mouth twitches up when he sees Yugi. ]

...can we sit? This might take a while.

K- Kaiba!!!

[ as soon as he enters the dorm looking like that yugi is on his feet and helping him to a chair in the common room. he casts a spell to surround them, so nobody else can hear their conversation as he uses another to bring a blanket over to drape over kaiba's shoulders. he falls into place beside him, tossing his dice out to summon peregrin - who takes the form of a jackelop with wings. ]

Peregrin, please, if you could get Kaiba some lavender chamomile tea. [ the familiar chirps and then runs off. ]

Kaiba... what... what's going on?

[ Yugi is always kind. Just reflecting on that makes him feel a twinge of guilt as he sits, sinking into the chair once he's settled in. ]

I've been hit with a hard reality check. Of how far I have to go. As a duelist and...on a more personal level.

That girl I warned you about? She challenged me to a duel. Somehow, she had two Duel Monsters decks. One was a Blue Eyes build, so I took it...and I lost. Her deck had summoning mechanics I've never seen. Remember when I used to call Atem a cheater? Like that, but worse.

[ He bows his head. ]

She said she couldn't believe I'd ever held a title, not when I'm an utter scrub. I...didn't take it well.

[ An understatement, clearly. ]

...

How? How did she get your cards? [ that's his first question, because didn't kaiba have his cards here. well, his blue-eyes, at least, even though he hadn't been able to get their power back he still had the three of them... ] ...And just what kind of summoning techniques are we talking about? [ and yugi knows exactly what kaiba is talking about. the heart of the cards and how atem was always able to pull the card he needed when he needed it, but he's curious about what kaiba is talking about. ]

What? [ there's a very distinct and very sharp edge to yugi's tone that kaiba has probably never heard before. ] She couldn't believe you ever held the title? [ yugi is seething on his boyfriend's behalf, so he can only imagine how kaiba must have reacted. ] Kaiba... you might have been a pompous jerk when I first met you, but you are a very skilled and a very proud duelist. You're brilliant and strategist and you absolutely deserved the title once upon a time and I enjoy each and every duel we fight. Like you've said to me you help me come alive on the duel field. You're no scrub.

They weren't mine. She's from a world where there are more Blue Eyes copies. And the rules she played by...the ones we're familiar with are the base, as far as I was able to pick up, but the game evolved in a new direction.

By banishing specific cards with she was able to basically...pull cards out of her sleeve that never would've been allowed under our rules. I didn't pick up all the new rules, and there's no way I'm asking her now.

[ He looks up at Yugi, finally, a glimmer of something in his expression. The anger on his behalf is cute. Touching, even. But unnecessary. He tentatively lays a hand over Yugi's in an attempt to calm his boyfriend. ]

I didn't bother to read through the cards I was given and learn the new rules, as she said. I can't honestly say I didn't deserve it. I'm just wondering where that leaves me now. Ever since the incident with my cards...

I don't know if I'll ever be who I was.

[ he just seems confused. more copies of blue-eyes, but... how? there had only been four and one of which, well, had belonged to his grandfather, but kaiba had torn up, because he hadn't wanted it to be able to be used against him. the rules evolving isn't really a surprise, since he expects the game to continue to change as time goes on, but... more blue-eyes is just something that seems so... strange... new cards to support it, sure, but... ]

[ he shakes his head and looks to kaiba, trying to wrap his head around the rest of what he's saying. well, alright, if kaiba had just jumped right in, then that's his own fault. he probably should have taken a moment to familiarize himself with the deck even though it was probably somewhat similar to his own. ]

You don't need to be exactly who you were, Kaiba. You can be somebody better. You were learning a new game, yeah, the War Games, and if you were interested I could get you into Fantastic Foils, since I work at the shop. I know you know a bit of the game, but it's kind of similar to Duel Monsters and you've already played it a bunch with me, so it's not like you don't already know the basic rules.

It's not that I can't play any game I choose.

[ It takes him a few minutes of leaning back and staring at the ceiling to figure out what exactly is bothering him. That inner voice that's driven him mad all this time isn't as loud as before, but it's still there, taunting him.

He groans, dragging his hands down his face. ]

Every failure is a mark of dishonor. And this one's entirely self-inflicted.

I've been told I should just...decide not to feel that way anymore. To dismiss it and move on. But that feels too much like accepting my mediocrity.

...

[ he supposes he had just been doing his best to get kaiba to stop thinking about it, at least for now, but that's not going to be enough. not this time. he lets him get it all out. ]

I don't think you're mediocre at all, Kaiba. [ he sighs, his shoulders sinking inward. ] And you don't have to accept it and move on. You can become better. Each loss is something to build on. I know that's probably not something you want to hear, but it's how you can make yourself stronger. She found a weakness... and she attacked it, but now you know about it and you can turn that weakness into a strength. It doesn't have to be a weakness anymore. She doesn't have to get the better of you time and time again. You will beat her and you will show her that you are the best, Kaiba. She'll see... what I see... [ he moves into his lap and leans in close. ] A bright star with all the potential in the world. How else would he have done all the things he's done, huh?

Yugi...

[ Kaiba wants to withdraw. He wants to hide in his room and work through his failures over and over again until the pain from this fades to background noise. But the dark cloud over his emotions is not yet invulnerable to Yugi's charm, and he finds himself nearly nose to nose with Yugi, a faint blush covering his cheeks. ]

I used to see that pretty easily for myself. Heh. But I appreciate it.

[ He squeezes Yugi tightly, tucking his head over his. ]

I still don't know how the hell you put up with me. But if you're gonna keep the habit, I'd be up for a game later.

And he doesn't allow himself to forget his allies either. Things have been difficult for dragonkind lately, and more than that, Lady is someone he wants to be safe. Would the winter chill cool the townsfolks' heads? He didn't dare to hope, but he could visit her in the common room with a fresh bundle of supplies from town.

"Here. Thought you might want something hot, I've been practicing my .insulating spells"

[ she'd bundled up in a blanket in the common room and reading through one of the books she grabbed from the library. recently she's been doing a lot of studying on sundering. that, and seeing if there's anyhting 'comparable' to death magic. there really isn't... but she's gotten several of her spells back, which she's had to work back to get full control over. ]

"Ah, Kaiba, t- thank you." She looks over her shoulder and smiles at him, a light pink tinge forming on her cheeks. "I was just about to take a short break, would you like to join me?"

It's not like I have much better to do.

[ He drops into the chair beside her and takes a long drink, trying to relax for the moment. ]

You're not worried about the midterms, are you?

Not at all.

I'm guessing you're not really worried either.

[ ... ]

Are... you alright? You seem off.

Is it that obvious?

[ He sighs. ]

I have a lot to think about. I don't think I told you about where I come from, did I?

K- Kind of...?

And, no, not... really...
I don't think we ever talked at length about our homes...

All right. I'll try to spare you the gorier details.

[ He reaches up to squeeze the card-shaped locket that always sits around his neck. ]

My brother and I were orphaned when we were very young. Families visited the orphanage and wanted to adopt me, because I 'looked promising', but they wouldn't adopt us together. Finally, the CEO of a huge international weapons company came for a photo op, and all I saw was someone who could afford to take on both of us.

I could tell he wasn't sentimental, he was easily drawn into wagers, and he valued intellect over all. So I played a chess match with him, on the condition that he adopt us together if I won. I did, and he kept his word...but he was even less sentimental than I anticipated.

We were his pawns and nothing more. My upbringing was strict, but it shaped me into the cutthroat man I needed to be to overthrow him and carve out my own style of doing business. It also made me...a difficult person to get along with, for most people.

'Trust no one, not even your own family' was the first rule of business after all. And...I recently had an altercation that made me realize I might not want to be that way anymore.

[ it's kind of similar to how she was brought up... as far as her relationship with her father, but she keeps that to herself. ]

What kind of altercation...? You didn't have a fight with Yugi, did you?

What? No. I'd never do that to him. Unless I was under some kind of influence.

[ He looks almost offended by the idea. Whatever else is messed up about him, he'd never stoop to hurting Yugi after how far they've come. ]

I dueled someone else. She...showed me in vivid detail what my weaknesses are, and that the past isn't as far away as I like to claim. I've tried ignoring it. It got me this far. Ha.

[ It's a bitter bite of a laugh. ]

[ she lifts her hands up. ]

Just making sure. It's not like I'd really put it past this place to mess with our heads to make us do something like that.

But I'm glad that's not it.

[ ... ]

I see. [ she looks aside. ] You never you can never really get away from your weaknesses... you can only do things to try to overcome them. [ she spreads her mechanical wings. ] You've tried and, perhaps, only thought you found the right solution. It's still out there though... You're strong, Kaiba, and you're too good to give up. The solution to the problem is out there and you've created a great network of people who I'm sure are interested in helping you find it.

Please don't speak that into existence.

{ He shudders. Hurting Yugi would be...well, it would probably be the thing to really break him. But he listens. ]

...mmm. Leaning on friends. I never did it before, I used to call it...what was it? A real sign of failure?

[ He folded his hands together, taking in her wings with a solemn nod. Yeah, he remembered. ]

But that might have been because I didn't believe friendship could be genuine, without strings attached. But I think...mm. I hate to be wrong twice in one day, but.

[ He scoots a little closer to her and takes in some companionable silence, waiting a few moments before speaking again. ]

...if I'd pulverize the next person who starts something with you...I think that means friendship is real.

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kaiba is ridiculous, a post (dec. catchall)

yugi

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lady

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