diatu | [OPEN] If I don't move

[OPEN] If I don't move

Who: Eleven and OPEN
What: El being irresponsible
Where: Places
When: June, anytime
Warnings: Woops, angst and tragic backtories happened.
TW: mentions of: murder; abuse; suicide
Notes: Action or prose is fine!

A. Any library

[Humans, enslaved by dragonkind. Since hearing of it, an odd, morbid curiosity has taken hold until the thought of it wouldn't leave him.

But why? What would dragonkind need from humans?

It's enough to pull him from Raida's temple to seek more information in Diatu and Anastara's greater libraries.

He doesn't have as much time to devote to the research as he'd like, but still he crams in time to read the most relevant and interesting passages in the various tomes he can find. They're largely ancient history books to offset the class he isn't taking- focused on that particular period of time, how it came about, and how it ended- to an extended curiosity about the breadth of the race of dragonkind itself.

Already loaded down with an armful of books he doesn't really need, Eleven catches a glimpse of an eye-catching binding set with runes and his fingers itch for it]

Maybe if I skip training today, I could still have time to study..

B. Somewhere Open

He did it once, in a burst of wild anger, summoned lightning through his veins and threw it out of his fist in a blow meant to blister. Not again since.

Eleven turned his wrist over, staring at the mark of light tattooed on the back of his hand. It had yet to glow once since arriving, but now as storm clouds loomed, darkening with the setting sun and getting closer, his arm stretched out to greet them- as though he might grasp them when finally they arrived.

Afire with nervous anticipation, a word to a spell on his lips, he threw his hand skyward.

"Zap!"

Lightning flashed and flickered in a nearby cloud, but failed to strike anything in particular. No strong scent of ozone played on the breeze.

..Coincidence, he wondered- or simply the wrong word?

C. Edge of Anastara

The Sword of Light.

Lain across his lap, Eleven decided that sitting on the edge of a floating island was a lot like sitting on the edge of the world. His feet hung suspended over an abyss of sky and low-flying clouds. Eyes on the horizon, he would occasionally glance down for that low-swooping feeling in his chest. A breeze pulled at him- at once encouragement and warning.

A tiny part of his heart wanted to throw the fabled weapon out into the endless sky and never gaze upon it again, but his hands held it fast as though afraid of that very impulse.

He still wasn't used to staring out across a clear sky in all directions, unable to make out even the silhouette of one particular floating tree. Right now, he only wished to see it in order to feel like he was being heard.

"I'll do it!" Eleven snapped at nothing in particular, dropping back into the grass only to glare and yell at the empty sky above. "I never said I wouldn't! I just wanted to be normal for awhile!"

His arm dropped to shadow his face on a sigh as he pulled the sword of light to lay at his side. "..But it looks like that doesn't matter at all."

D. Wildcard!

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"..I know," he said on a sigh, glancing down at his hands. "I tried."

But that sort of forgiveness is something he'll have to realize for himself, as he had.

"I think... darkness was created around you. Even I could have been corrupted by it, but I was fortunate enough to be raised with kindness. If you had that sort of life, evil would never have taken root within you."

"You cannot force him to it, any more than you can force me to it," Yotsuyu said, echoing Eleven's thoughts unconsciously. "It is something we have to learn ourselves. I can see it for myself, I think...but I have hung on to things for so long, it is equally difficult to let go."

Sometimes, it had been all she had, to clutch desperately, if futilely, at the things she had. But Yotsuyu was well aware that to cling to this was nothing good. It was a salted field, where nothing could grow.

"I wished for a normal life," she murmured. "It was simply denied me. I think you are right, if there had been anything like normalcy or fairness--though how well I know that the latter hardly happens!--I probably never would have been...what I was."

"No more than you could," he echoed, nodding. Though he appreciated all the same that she'd cared enough to try.

"I hope you find your peace here. But.. if darkness begets darkness, then I wonder where it stops. In your world, the people you harmed are touched by it, and light seems so fragile."

"Doma was liberated from the Empire, even before my passing. They have...a chance. To heal, at least. There had been word that the Empire's heir had been slain..." The Warrior of Light had been busy, to say the least. Speaking of...

"Eorzea's champion remains. They have their protector, at least, and there are those who would aid the Warrior of Light in anything he has to do. If they are not perhaps secure, the world at least has that."

And the Warrior of Light had his own companions, as well, beyond the Scions who had sworn to aid him and save the world. "You need not worry about Doma, or Eorzea, or Hydaelyn. You should worry about yourself and Erdrea."

Not that Yotsuyu particularly wanted to shove him in that direction, of course, but Eleven also didn't need to worry about a world he could do nothing for, either.

"It does you credit that you would consider the world I left, though. Thank you."

Unease settled into his smile, not quite sincere. Erdrea had their Luminary, but his spirit had been stolen.

"..The Warrior of Light is like your Luminary, except his title is something he earns, rather than is born with. ..Alphinaud said as much, anyway."

His smile turned wry and wistful. "I think Hendrik would be the Luminary, if that was how it worked in Erdrea."

Yotsuyu paled briefly as she glanced at Eleven. "Would he now? Then I am glad it is you that is the Luminary, and not he."

She lifted a hand, so certain was she that El would defend his protector. "I mean not to disparage him, but he is...Hendrik is painfully good. He embodies many properties a knight should have, and that is no bad thing. But he is...easily led, like a bull with a nose-ring, and thus is easily manipulated. He is not given overmuch to introspection or thought, and you know this--such things are what led to your opposition with him at first, is it not?"

She sighed, then. "And certain things, he accepts far too easily. That is not something a true warrior for good should do--at least, I think not, and I have at least passing acquaintance with warriors for the light!" Yotsuyu gave a wry chuckle, then. "They should not be too complacent or too comfortable. For all your suffering, Eleven...you make a better Luminary, because you have more heart."

Eleven's eyes lowered, frowning into the grass. Much as he did want to defend Hendrik, Jade had said he was loyal to a fault, and he'd proven that.

It had taken Mordegon revealing himself to change him.

"..I guess that's true. I only wish I was as strong and unwavering as he is. He proves his strength over me every day, and I wonder if I really can defeat Mordegon if I can't even overcome Hendrik."

Edited 2019-06-21 01:07 (UTC)

"You underestimate yourself. How many months have you been training? Hendrik has had years, if not decades. That would be like...me, expecting you to be a well-trained spy after a few days." Yotsuyu nudged Eleven gently in the side with an elbow. "It took me a good decade to learn that sort of thing, too. Time is what makes one improve."

She gave a soft snort. "You will catch up with physical strength. You are rather strong for your age, mentally, you know." Of course Eleven had had anguish and self-doubt, but that was part of being a teenager as well. He was remarkably resilient.

"You do need to watch how unwavering you wish to be, though." Yotsuyu bit her lip. The words she spoke next were said mockingly at another time, but were true enough when she said them now. "'Tis better to bend with the wind than stand tall and be broken."

Eleven sighed, slumping a bit.

"That's not true," he said, rubbing the lingering wet trails from his face. "I feel like I'm crying all the time. I need.. Hendrik's strength and Professor Mala's wisdom, but I don't have 20 or 50 years to wait for them to come to me."

"I am not lying," Yotsuyu growled, albeit softly. "There are many here who do not have my respect, and those, I would lie to without a care. You do not number among them, Eleven. For good or ill, I would not lie to you. Why do you think I told you what I did?"

When lying--or continuing to omit the knowledge--would have been easier for both of them.

"So you cry? Not even that means you are weak. It means you are hurting, and letting it go rather than holding it in. Even that has wisdom to it."

She shook her head, then. "While it may benefit you to have both, and perhaps even my counsel--if I give myself altogether too much credit...what you need the most of is to be yourself. I am not convinced your Yggdrasil chose poorly. It is simply that steel needs to be tempered before it can be a good weapon, no? Is that not true of forging as well?"

He nodded and let his arms drape over his knees. Envisioning himself as a weapon in need of tempering didn't do much to inspire, however.

"..So your counsel is to be myself, rather than the Luminary? I feel as though I've tried that, but the sword came to me as if a reminder- like it's something I can't deny anymore. But the person that's me just wants to forge things and be normal."

Yotsuyu pondered this for a moment, frowning softly, brow furrowed. "Is there a way you can balance both? I mean, 'tis necessary for you to return to Erdrea at some point, but..."

She did not want to balance the Witch of Doma with anything, so really, she wasn't the best to advise on this point. "I suppose I could be giving better advice, but I truly do not want to revisit who I was on Hydaelyn. So that is much different."

He shook his head.

"I don't know," he said with a sigh and helpless shrug and glance to his new sword. "If this is Yggdrasil's will, then She might need me to regain my power soon, so I should focus on that. But... maybe I can still work on Forging a little. And have a few friends."

"Perhaps, yes. But perhaps this is a path. Yes, She may have sent you the sword to remind you not to shirk, but...Yggdrasil set you upon it, and there are those of us who may advise you the best we may--myself, Hendrik, you've other friends, I know. But only you can decide what is right. You are wise for your years, and you have a good heart. I do not think they will lead you wrong."

Yotsuyu sighed, then. Was there some way she was simply leading Eleven in circles? She didn't want to think that that was a thing she was doing--she did not want to be the snake in the garden, or the one leading him astray.

Staring out across the endless sky, he's never felt less wise. He knows what he should do, but neither would he have the identity of the Luminary consume him. There had to be a balance; he just needed to find it.

"..I don't think I'll work it out for some time yet, but I'm glad for your counsel."

His eyes turned to her, fingers tapping against his arm. "I'm sorry, for the painful life you were forced to lead. If there's any way I can help you to find happiness here.."

That made Yotsuyu laugh--he was so terribly earnest, didn't he realize that he'd already been a help? She leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Silly boy. Sweet boy.

"You already have, Eleven--or were you not aware?" she asked, arching a brow and smiling at him. "I doubt I will ever have children of my own--I was treated so poorly, and I am afraid I would do the same to them--assuming with what has happened, I even can." Yotsuyu shrugged, then. The what ifs didn't seem terribly important, at the moment. "At least, at this point, I feel as if you are the closest thing to a son I shall ever have. And I treasure that."

Eleven's eyes widened, losing a breath to the way his heart seized. His chest ached with it- warm and bittersweet all at once.

"I- I'm honored," he said, ducking his head a bit. "You've been very kind to me. I'm sure you would be a wonderful mother."

"I am fairly certain I would not." But it was certainly sweet of him to say so. "Especially on consideration that I may not be able to, now." Which, Yotsuyu thought privately, was probably for the best.

"You earned my friendship, Eleven, but you have helped teach me to be kind. Something I had no chance to learn when I was younger. For that, I will always thank you. If mayhap I do end up a mother, truly, one day, the children will have you to thank for that. As I thank you for it." She laid an arm across his shoulders, gently, and leaned into him. A companionable gesture.

Eleven thought so, but rather than argue, he decided she would see that if ever she did have children. For the moment, he let himself relax into her hold.

"I'm glad I could bring you some of the light that you deserve in your life." He closed his eyes and smiled. "Maybe there's hope for me, after all."

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[OPEN] If I don't move

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