[A terribly drunk, terrible person.]

Well, where I'm from, ducks are only about wee high. [He levels a hand to about his shin height.] Also, they don't talk either. Also, were I'm also from, I have yet to see a normal duck. Just onion ones. They're worth a lot of expee, for some reason..."

[His eyes widen as he points a finger at the talking, not made of onion, duck.]

But hey! That's changing the subject! Driiiiink!