"But it didn't always happen at once," she muttered weakly, like even she could tell it was weak. She sat down on the edge of the bed, holding her arms. "I just need to know the two of you are okay, you are all I have, all I want to have and I know I can't really..." she faltered, trying to find words. "Everytime something good happens, something worse happens as a response," she whispered finally. "The three of us being here... I keep being afraid of what could be so much worse to follow something this good..." her eyes closed. So many things she wouldn't have said normally, that she wasn't sure why she seemed to be saying every thought she normally would have locked down deep. "I don't know why I keep saying everything. I know hearing this hurts you and I don't ever want to hurt either of you. My whole existence, such as it is, you two always protected me, I just want to be able to protect you back. To keep whatever bad is coming from taking away what little good we have."